Dread of the Day

Retired librarian Rosalie Melly has a problem. Her cat, Miffy, is hiding under the couch and will not come out. Ms. Melly was watching Piers Morgan on television this past Tuesday evening when, during a break, a M****** commercial was broadcast. “Why those little animated mucus people make me gag,” Melly reported. ” It got so bad this time, I threw up on Miffy, who sits in my lap and watches TV with me.”

According to Ms. Melly, Miffy was startled when she vomited and leaped from her lap, scratching her “most indelicately”. Miffy has since refused food, water, and consolation and has retreated to her hiding spot under the couch.

Ms.Melly has contacted the makers of M****** and has requested they discontinue the commercials immediately.

“I really do not believe,” wrote Ms. Melly, “that it was Piers Morgan that made me ill. I have watched him many times in the past with very little nausea. But the cartoon mucus people have repeatedly caused me to gag. This was the first time I actually vomited. Now, I am afraid to watch the TV for fear one of your adverts will come on. I am actually getting queasy just writing about it.”

Ms. Melly received a prompt, if less than satisfying, response from the makers of M******:

“Our advertising is prepared for us by an outside agency that complies with our commitment to high standards of quality and good taste. The introduction of any ad or commercial is preceded by months of consumer research. All of our ads are screened by our advertising agency, as well as our Marketing Department, to determine their effectiveness and consumer acceptability.”

“Nevertheless, preferences differ, and we truly regret that you were dissatisfied with this commercial. Please feel assured that your comments have been passed on to our Brand Manager for consideration in future advertising.”

Ms. Melly insists she will pursue the matter until she receives the satisfaction of having the “vile” commercials pulled from the airwaves.

Dreadmonger will continue to follow the story and provide updates on future developments for Ms. Melly and, of course, for Miffy.

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