China’s Calling Tim Geithner…from India

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Tim Geithner isn’t sleeping well these days. And now, he says, it’s bound to get worse.

“The phone calls from these guys in India are driving me crazy,”  US Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner told Dreadmonger in an exclusive interview from his Maryland home on Saturday.

“They’re calling from India but, it’s really the Chinese calling about the money we owe them. And now, with this idiotic S&P downgrade, I know it’ll just get worse.”

Geithner says he receives several calls every day like clockwork  from “Trevor”.

“He says his name is ‘Trevor’ but he’s calling from India and his real name is CHINA!”

“8:15 in the morning, noon, 5PM, and again at 8PM – you can set your watch by this guy,” reports Geithner. “And forget sleeping in on the week-end. Not a chance – Saturday, Sunday, makes no difference to Trevor.”

Trevor, and a raft of his phone bank campadres, are calling to remind Treasury Secretary Geithner about the debt interest payments that are due.

“And do you think that raising the debt ceiling made a difference to these guys?” fumes Geithner, “No, I swear they’ve called more than ever this week. What do they think, the US Government’s going to leave town in the middle of the night? I’m thinking about giving them the Grand Canyon or the Washington Monument or something  just to shut them up. Maybe the Smithsonian.”

But, unfortunately for Geithner, his options are limited these days. “I had lunch with Ben the other day.” That would be Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke. “I ask him ‘Does a guy named Trevor ever call you?’. Poor Ben just buried his head in his hands. Same drill – gets calls every day. I told him we should call Petraeus or Panetta or whoever and see if we can borrow some drones to pay these guys a visit.  Jeez, something”

Geithner is looking ahead to his future opportunities outside of government.

“You know, Goldman’s been after me for two years now. And CNBC wants to pair me up with Andrew Ross Sorkin and Becky Quick on Squawk Box. And CNN calls non-stop.”

Meanwhile, during Dreadmonger’s interview with Geithner, the phone rang for the third time.

“I’m not going to answer this. This is ridiculous. All I ask is that they stop calling so I can sleep in on a Saturday morning. Just one Saturday morning. That’s not too much to ask, is it? ”

“Anyway, they know we’re good for it. I mean… we are good for it, you know?”


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