White House Endorses Bachmann for President

Republican Party (United States)

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At the White House Press Briefing today, Jay Carney, White House Press Secretary, took the unusual step of announcing that the White House will endorse Michelle Bachmann as the Republican nominee for President in 2012.

“On the strength of the straw vote in Iowa, coupled with her strong performance at the Iowa State Fair,  we think that Ms. Bachmann is clearly the front-runner for the Republican Party. We really like her as the 2012 Republican nominee for President.”

“There is no other candidate,” Carney went on to say, “that has the  energy and momentum that we see coming from Ms. Bachmann’s campaign. She has ignited a real spark out there and she has captured the imagination of the voters in Iowa. We see this as carrying through nicely all the way through to the election next year.”

Jake Tapper of ABC News pressed Carney about the viability of Ms. Bachmann as compared to some of the other Republican candidates in the running, notably Mitt Romney and Texas Governer Rick Perry. Carney went on to say, “There’s not much comparison, really. We see those two as virtually unelectable. ‘Individual Mandate’ Romney and ‘George W’ Perry simply don’t have the staying power or gravitas that we see in Ms. Bachmann’s campaign. There’s too much old baggage there. We just don’t see how that would make sense for the Republicans.”

“And beyond that,” Carney continued, “you have, what, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Herman CAIN?  Get serious.”

When reporters from Dreadmonger inquired as to the widely reported possibility that Sarah Palin might enter the race, Carney replied, “We think Ms. Palin would compliment Ms. Bachmann well. We see her as a key potential for energizing the ticket. Bachmann / Palin in 2012? Sounds like a powerful combination to us.”

Anonymous sources at the White House told Dreadmonger that senior campaign strategist David Axelrod will meet later today with reporters from the New York Times and MSNBC to further discuss how to best promote Bachmann / Palin for the upcoming 2012 Presidential race and to explore ideas on how they might be able to tie Christine O’Donnell to the ticket.

Dreadmonger will provide updates as the story develops.

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