Morgan Stanley Running Out of Ways to Say ‘Economy Sucks’

Morgan Stanley's office on Times Square

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LONDON (Dreadmonger) – Global stock markets tumbled again this week as officials from Morgan Stanley lowered their forecasts for global growth for 2011 and 2012. An unnamed Morgan Stanley official, in an exclusive interview with Dreadmonger’s London Bureau, said, “This really sucks. We are close to running out of adjectives to describe how bad this sucks. No doubt.”

The spokesman for the brokerage firm went on to say that increasing  commodity prices, a weakened dollar, and continuing political and social tensions around the globe combined to paint a bleak economic outlook for the next two years.

The spokesman said that both the U.S. and European economies are “hovering dangerously close to recession.”  As a result, the firm has cut its 2011 global gross domestic product growth forecast to 3.9% from 4.2%, and its 2012 estimate to 3.8% from 4.5%.

Paul Krugman, Nobel prize winning economist and op-ed columnist for the New York Times, commented, “To say that the ‘economy sucks’ doesn’t really capture the gravity of the situation. I think these guys need to go back to the OED or something. This came out of the London office, right? Pitiful, really, that the vocabulary coming from this eminent financial institution has devolved to street language. It embarrasses us all and coarsens the discussion.”

The Morgan Stanley spokesman further commented on Mr. Krugman’s statement by saying, “Well, you can tell Mr. Krugman that Morgan Stanley says he sucks, as well.  He’s the Nobel Prize-winning economist, isn’t he? If we go back to his forecasts, of, oh, say 2007, what do we see? And, how’s that Keynsian stimulus program working out for you, Paul?”

Krugman responded by telling Dreadmonger reporters, “What, some low-level PR guy from this esteemed issuer of countless Mortgage Backed Securities, this company that JP Morgan refused to take for nothing back in 2008, thinks it is in his purview to smear me, a Nobel Prize-winning economist and op-ed journalist for the New York Times, with his punk-a** gutter-language? Not likely.”

Dreadmonger is unable to print the response from Morgan Stanley to Mr. Krugman in this family friendly publication.

Dreadmonger will continue to closely monitor the story and provide updates as they become available.

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