Gaddafi Tells Tea Party to ‘Go to Hell’

Muammar al-Gaddafi at the 12th AU summit, Febr...

Image via Wikipedia

In an exclusive interview today with Dreadmonger’s Mediterranean Bureau, speaking from the deck of his yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean near the Italian Riviera, Muammar Gaddafi told reporters, “The Tea Party can go straight to hell!”

Mr. Gaddafi traces his recent decline in power to the ascent of the Tea Party in the 2010 elections in the US.

“These people are dangerous,” continued Mr. Gaddafi, speaking in flawless English. “This Jim DeMint person? Who does he think he is? And Michelle Bachmann? The woman frightens me. Did you see the cover of Newsweek? And they say I’m crazy. Did you see that picture? I defy you to find a picture of me that looks that crazy. I defy you.”

Mr. Gaddafi went on to say, “All this talk about the so-called ‘Arab Spring’ or some such nonsense. I have one word to describe this ‘Arab Spring’, and here I quote your Mr. Al Gore, ‘Bullsh*t!’. This is all a result of these crazy costumes these Tea Party people wear, these crazy signs they carry. Before the Tea Party, the Libyan people loved me. They used to write songs about me…”

Dreadmonger reporters inquired as to where Mr. Gaddafi might go now that it appeared that his government had been deposed by Libyan rebel forces.

“I suppose I’ll go to the Caribbean somewhere,” Mr. Gaddafi said. “Hugo and Fidel both want me. And Fidel’s brother – what’s his name? Raul or something? And Silvio said there was always a place for me at his table. And the little guy from Korea invited me. But, it is too cold in Korea, I think. Is it not?”

“But please, you must help me out,” Mr. Gaddafi asked our reporters. “You must convince your Fox News to return Glenn Beck to the airwaves. He was hilarious! I think you Americans have no sense of humor. ‘Glenn Beck’ is a character he has created – a modern-day Tony Clifton. I think his humor may be too oblique for you. But, please, I beg you, see if you can convince them to bring him back. We would watch him each afternoon in the palace. I miss him so much.”

At the end of the interview, Mr. Gaddafi extended his hospitality to Dreadmonger reporters.

“You must join us tonight for the concert. Rhianna and Neil Diamond will be performing. Saif  loves Rhianna but, I am a big Neil Diamond fan. ‘Sweet Caroline…’. I love this song.”

Dreadmonger reporters will provide exclusive coverage of the concert.

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  1. #1 by teenagedreamz on August 23, 2011 - 5:18 pm

    If there is anything that I agree on with the above, its the newsweek cover of Congresswoman Bachmann. It was definitely surprising!

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