Boeing SC Factory to be ‘Repurposed’, Feds Say

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Luther Melly, Assistant to the Vice-Undersecretary of the Department of the Interior, said today that the Department has created contingency plans to ‘repurpose’ the newly completed Boeing aircraft manufacturing facility in Charleston, SC. The plans, which would be  initiated if and when the National Labor Relations Board is successful in their lawsuit against Boeing, would create a new, dual-purpose use for the facility.

“The proposal has the facility segmented into two parts,” said Assistant Melly.  “One of these sections will become the site for a Permanent Job Fair, to be operated by employees from the Department of Labor. The second section will become a Native American Gaming Center, owned and operated by the Catawba Indian Nation.”

Dreadmonger reporters from our Southern Bureau, went to Charleston today to seek comment from Boeing, from the Catawba Indian Nation, and from local officials. All declined our repeated requests for comment.

Our reporters were able to speak with a group of protestors picketing in front of the Boeing plant in Charleston. The group, which carried signs bearing the acronym, “RNTTT”, spoke briefly with Dreadmonger reporters.

“We represent the RNTTT and we are here to demand our rights to open and operate a casino right here in this building,” said a spokesman from the group who would only identify himself as ‘Red”.

The RNTTT, or Red Neck Trailer Trash Tribe, is a group of self-appointed “Native Americans” who are petitioning the US Government for the right to open their casino on the Boeing site.

“Our people,” continued Red, ” have been in these parts for more than 300 years. So, we think that qualifies us as ‘Native Americans’ too. We have petitioned the Department of the Interior to officially designate our people as a ‘Native American tribe’: The Red Neck Trailer Trash Tribe.”

“Upon recognition of our status as a Native American people by the US Government, we further propose to open the ‘Country Boy Casino’ right here on this site. As Hank Jr. says, ‘Country boy will survive!’ And we mean to.'”

Governor Nikki Haley, was briefly on site to hear what protestors had to say. She initially declined to respond to questions from Dreadmonger reporters.

As she was leaving the site of the protests, our reporters asked, “Governor Haley, what do you plan to do if the NLRB is successful in shutting down the Boeing plant?”

The Governor stopped, turned, and paused for effect.

“We’re thinking of ‘repurposing’ our cannons and firing on Fort Sumter again,” she said. With that, Governor Haley turned and left the scene.

Dreadmonger will provide updates as they become available.

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