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President Obama Introduces His “8-8-8 Plan for America”

Official presidential portrait of Barack Obama...

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(Dreadmonger -Wash. DC) – President Obama announced in his radio address to the nation today that he would introduce his “8-8-8 Plan for America”  in the upcoming weeks. The plan, as sparsely outlined by the President in his radio broadcast today, provides for reform of the nation’s current tax system and addresses some of the issues that he has given voice to in recent weeks on the campaign trail.

“As you all know,” President Obama said, “middle class Americans are hurting right now. The wealthiest among us continue to be the best equipped to take advantage of the tax loopholes in our current system by virtue of the fact that they can afford highly paid tax attorneys to shelter their income. Our antiquated tax code allows for this via numerous exemptions and loopholes that were designed by and for the rich.”

“But, where does that leave regular Americans? Under the current system, that leaves regular folks carrying a larger share of the burden than they should. This is simply not fair. So, today, I am announcing a new tax reform plan that I have dubbed my ‘8-8-8 Plan for America’. This plan will close tax loopholes for millionaires and billionaires, eliminate write-offs for oil and gas leases and corporate jets, curtail the exorbitant new bank card fees that we have seen in recent weeks, and address the unfair nature of our current tax system.”

“The plan definitively addresses three different aspects of tax reform, each with a proposal that uses the number ‘8’. I will be introducing the details for my ‘8-8-8 Plan for America’ in the upcoming weeks to a joint session of Congress that I will be calling. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure that this joint session doesn’t conflict with any football games.”

The President’s chief campaign strategist, David Axelrod, was available for a few questions after the address.

Dreadmonger reporters inquired of Mr. Axelrod if there were any similarities between  in the President’s “8-8-8 Plan for America” and Republican candidate Herman Cain’s “9-9-9 Plan”.

“As the President rolls out his plan in the upcoming weeks,” said Mr. Axelrod, “you will see that it addresses some of the very serious flaws that we see in Mr. Cain’s current plan.”

“And clearly,” continued Mr. Axelrod, ” the President’s plan uses 8’s which, as you can see, are lower than the 9’s that Mr. Cain is using in his plan. We think that lowering taxes by one in this period of struggle for middle-class Americans, makes for a more rational and equitable tax plan. And, there’s no sales tax in our plan. We really don’t ike that sales tax part.”

“And finally,” said Mr. Axelrod, “the President has added the ‘for America’ part to his plan.  We think that this addition gives the American people a clear idea of just where the President is coming from with his ‘8-8-8 Plan for America'”.

Dreadmonger will provide details of President Obama’s “8-8-8 Plan for America” as they become available.


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