Posts Tagged Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin Declared “Greatest Living Hypocrite” by Guinness


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(Dreadmonger London Bureau) – Guinness World Records, Ltd. announced today in London that Alec Baldwin has been declared “World’s Greatest Living hypocrite” for his recent string of scathing tweets associated with the Occupy Wall Street movement.

Baldwin has repeatedly declared his support for the movement centered in Zuccotti Park in New York City, despite the fact that he has been the long-time TV pitchman for Capital One Credit Cards, a division of Capital One Bank, N.A., one of the largest banking conglomerates in the U.S.

Tweeting today about Mayor Bloomberg‘s action to clear the park last night, Baldwin said, “Bloomberg’s NY is no place for the 1st amendment. Bloomberg serves Wall Street, now and forever. And Wall Street cannot handle free speech.”

Baldwin went on to say, “NYC bends over backwards 2 give costly tax breaks 2 corps that threaten 2 leave NY. Whether those corps create sufficient jobs or not.”

Baldwin visited the Occupy Wall Street “Base Camp” in Zuccotti Park on October 18 to offer his support to loyal protesters. Baldwin was followed by chanting Ron Paul supporters and only stayed on site a short time.

Baldwin recently completed filming on his latest Capital One “Whats in your wallet?” commercial.

Sir Rudy Gilfalstone, Executive Managing Director of Awards for Guinness World Records, Ltd., told reporters from Dreadmonger that Baldwin was a natural pick for the award.

“As we have seen,” said Sir Gilfalstone, “Mr. Baldwin has done a superb job of displaying his sputtering, righteous indignation at those who would give opposition to the Occupy Wall Street movement while at the same time, perfecting his smarmy delivery as chief credit card pitchman for one of the largest banks in the world. We see this as rather exquisite irony. Mr. Baldwin wins the ‘World’s Greatest Living Hypocrite’ award hands down. Simply an epic performance. Marvelous, really.”

“And, to be perfectly honest,” said Sir Rudy, “we did not have anyone else who approached this expert level of hypocrisy. The only other person we looked at was Michael Moore. For obvious reasons, we chose not to go with Mr. Moore.”

Dreadmonger will cover the Guinness Awards Ceremony pending the scheduling of that event.

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“Authentic” Protesters to Occupy Occupy Wall Street

Day 20 Occupy Wall Street October 5 2011 Shank...

Image by david_shankbone via Flickr

(Dreadmonger – Zuccotti Park) Saul (no last name given) is rallying his troops for a march on Zuccotti Park. Saul is the titular leader of a group dubbed the  “Authentic” protesters who are launching their bid to occupy Occupy Wall Street.

“These guys,” Saul told reporters from Dreadmonger this afternoon, “are totally bogus. I heard on NPR today that they have trademarked the name ‘Occupy Wall Street’. Just look around you, man, look at all the bogus t-shirts. Somebody’s cashing in here. We’re going to put a stop to these materialistic pigs. We are going to occupy Occupy Wall Street!”

It seems that Saul, and his band of a dozen or so supporters, are out to make sure the protesters in Zucotti Park are genuine in their intentions and not just showing up to cash in on the movement’s newly found success in attracting media attention.

“This started out as a sincere movement,” Saul said, “but, now, it’s all about making a buck on the coat tails of the people who originally came down here to express an idea. To bring unity to the under-represented 99% of America. Now, it’s all about pre-printed signs and silk-screened t-shirts and trademarks, for crying out loud. And Alec Baldwin. Give me a break – guy is on TV hawking Capital One credit cards. He’s coming down here to get on Entertainment Tonight. Him and that fat guy that makes all the documentaries. He seems to show up whenever there’s free stew.”

“So, our mission,” Saul continued, “is to occupy the occupiers. To get them out of our protest. Maybe they can go protest down at Times Square or someplace where they can get better media coverage for their new t-shirt designs.”

Dreadmonger will provide updates as the “Authentic” protesters launch their occupation.

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