Posts Tagged BarackObama

President Obama Introduces His “8-8-8 Plan for America”

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(Dreadmonger -Wash. DC) – President Obama announced in his radio address to the nation today that he would introduce his “8-8-8 Plan for America”  in the upcoming weeks. The plan, as sparsely outlined by the President in his radio broadcast today, provides for reform of the nation’s current tax system and addresses some of the issues that he has given voice to in recent weeks on the campaign trail.

“As you all know,” President Obama said, “middle class Americans are hurting right now. The wealthiest among us continue to be the best equipped to take advantage of the tax loopholes in our current system by virtue of the fact that they can afford highly paid tax attorneys to shelter their income. Our antiquated tax code allows for this via numerous exemptions and loopholes that were designed by and for the rich.”

“But, where does that leave regular Americans? Under the current system, that leaves regular folks carrying a larger share of the burden than they should. This is simply not fair. So, today, I am announcing a new tax reform plan that I have dubbed my ‘8-8-8 Plan for America’. This plan will close tax loopholes for millionaires and billionaires, eliminate write-offs for oil and gas leases and corporate jets, curtail the exorbitant new bank card fees that we have seen in recent weeks, and address the unfair nature of our current tax system.”

“The plan definitively addresses three different aspects of tax reform, each with a proposal that uses the number ‘8’. I will be introducing the details for my ‘8-8-8 Plan for America’ in the upcoming weeks to a joint session of Congress that I will be calling. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure that this joint session doesn’t conflict with any football games.”

The President’s chief campaign strategist, David Axelrod, was available for a few questions after the address.

Dreadmonger reporters inquired of Mr. Axelrod if there were any similarities between  in the President’s “8-8-8 Plan for America” and Republican candidate Herman Cain’s “9-9-9 Plan”.

“As the President rolls out his plan in the upcoming weeks,” said Mr. Axelrod, “you will see that it addresses some of the very serious flaws that we see in Mr. Cain’s current plan.”

“And clearly,” continued Mr. Axelrod, ” the President’s plan uses 8’s which, as you can see, are lower than the 9’s that Mr. Cain is using in his plan. We think that lowering taxes by one in this period of struggle for middle-class Americans, makes for a more rational and equitable tax plan. And, there’s no sales tax in our plan. We really don’t ike that sales tax part.”

“And finally,” said Mr. Axelrod, “the President has added the ‘for America’ part to his plan.  We think that this addition gives the American people a clear idea of just where the President is coming from with his ‘8-8-8 Plan for America'”.

Dreadmonger will provide details of President Obama’s “8-8-8 Plan for America” as they become available.

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Obama Proposes New Committee That Will Be ‘Ginormous”

Barack Obama

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In response to criticisms leveled at the bi-partisan super committee that will convene this fall  to address budget deficit concerns, President Obama said today that he will form an even more powerful group that he has dubbed the “Ginormous Committee.”

Speaking to reporters in an impromptu session this afternoon behind the livestock auction pavilion at the Illinois State Fair, President Obama said he plans to unveil the new committee as an adjunct to the super committee.

“All of our efforts to stimulate job creation and trim spending will be focused through this new extra super committee or, as I have termed it, the “Ginormous Committee’. We’re really getting most serious about this.” Obama said, offering his ‘most serious’ face (see photo).

During the recent GOP Presidential candidate debate, Newt Gingrich was particularly critical of the upcoming super committee saying, “I think this super committee is about as dumb an idea as Washington has come up with in my lifetime.”

In a tweet announcing Democrat House appointees to the super committee, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said her team will “focus on economic growth & job creation–which reduces deficit.”

In a slightly more grammatically correct statement issued later in the day, Ms. Pelosi said she hoped the committee would continue to work towards a “grand bargain,” which she has relabelled a “ginormous bargain’ echoing the President’s new moniker.

When reporters asked President Obama if the “Ginormous Committee” would be connected to his new jobs creation program, slated to roll out after the September 5th holiday, he replied, “We believe that the relationship between jobs and the deficit is palpable and substantive. So, as an effort to put forth a balanced plan, we see connections there, yes.”

When reporters from Dreadmonger asked if the President’s proposals will consist of the same things he has previously identified, namely, extending the payroll tax reduction, ratifying free trade bills, and passing  patent reform legislation, the President replied, ” Those are in there, sure, along with some other new ideas that we are kicking around.”

When reporters pressed the President for more details on the new ideas, President Obama declined to further elaborate, saying “We still have a few details to iron out but, we really think the word ‘Ginormous’ gives you an idea of where we’re headed.”

Dreadmonger will continue to update this story as it develops.

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But Wait, There’s More! Obama To Add Second VP

President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe ...

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President Obama’s re-election campaign announced today that the President will add a second Vice President who will share duties with current Vice President Joe Biden.

David Axelrod, campaign strategist for the President’s re-election committee, met briefly with reporters this afternoon outside the Hercules Industries Battery and Wind Turbine manufacturing facility in Decatur where he was touring with the President.

“President Obama sees this as a balanced, innovative, and pragmatic solution to the challenges that face the US today,” Axelrod told reporters. “By adding a second Vice President to assist the President and Vice President Biden in meeting the urgent demands that face the country today, we are, in effect increasing the size of the core Executive team by 50%. We see this move as an enabler to more effective management and a real time saver for the President.”

Axelrod went on to say, “As the President’s re-election campaign kicks into high gear, consuming more and more of the President’s time, the two VP’s will pick up a lot of the day-to-day responsibilities. For example, Vice President Biden is already managing affairs in the middle east for the President and he has taken the lead role in negotiating the recent debt and deficit proposals with Congress.”

“We see the new guy, or who knows,” Axelrod said with a slight smile, “maybe we’ll have a woman in the role this time. But we see this new person as someone who can take on many of the more substantive functional and tactical activities that currently fall squarely on the President’s shoulders.”

When asked by reporters if the President had a short list of candidates he was considering for the post, Axelrod would only comment that, “The President has not shared that with me but, I am sure he does have some ideas.”

“Jaime’s a good man and, the President feels that we do have some repair work to do with big business. But I really don’t have any idea if he is a candidate for the position or not.”

Reporters from Dreadmonger inquired if the creation of a second position of Vice President was strictly legal under the Constitution.

Axelrod responded by saying, “Well, we haven’t really got all the answers there yet. But if there is some kind of a clause or something in the Constitution that specifically says you can only have one Vice President, we thought we would just change the new name to Viceroy, or Assistant VP, you know, something like that. How does Vice Chancellor sound to you?”

Axelrod ended the meeting with reporters saying, “Gotta run now, guys. The President has a golf game to get to and he’s flying out early tomorrow morning for 10 well-deserved days off  in Martha’s Vineyard with Michelle and the kids. We’ll keep you posted as this idea gets fleshed out.”

Dreadmonger will provide updates as they become available.

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President Obama Spams Us

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Americans, listen up… your President is spamming tweeting reaching out to you...

President Obama opened the Twitter floodgates today in an effort to rally support for his bid to pressure Congress to get it together and solve the debt ceiling crisis adventure. The President’s staff tweeted out the Twitter names of all US Republican Congressional representatives – all of them – one by one – to everyone who follows the President. This regardless of the Representative‘s state of residence. So, the lucky recipients got LOTS of addresses that had no relationship whatsoever to their state’s representative. Cool!

Tech savvy Americans responded heartily to the President’s reach-out by bailing on him. 37,000  so far (still counting…)  have pulled the plug on the President’s Twitter account.

Meanwhile, back in the House, Nancy Pelosi quoted Dreadmonger’s post from this past Friday, July 22. 2011, declaring an “end to life as we know it on Planet earth.”  She once again made crazy eyes to all the cell phone cameras in the House chamber as an added treat for her Congressional colleagues.

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