Posts Tagged Illinois State Fair

Obama Proposes New Committee That Will Be ‘Ginormous”

Barack Obama

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In response to criticisms leveled at the bi-partisan super committee that will convene this fall  to address budget deficit concerns, President Obama said today that he will form an even more powerful group that he has dubbed the “Ginormous Committee.”

Speaking to reporters in an impromptu session this afternoon behind the livestock auction pavilion at the Illinois State Fair, President Obama said he plans to unveil the new committee as an adjunct to the super committee.

“All of our efforts to stimulate job creation and trim spending will be focused through this new extra super committee or, as I have termed it, the “Ginormous Committee’. We’re really getting most serious about this.” Obama said, offering his ‘most serious’ face (see photo).

During the recent GOP Presidential candidate debate, Newt Gingrich was particularly critical of the upcoming super committee saying, “I think this super committee is about as dumb an idea as Washington has come up with in my lifetime.”

In a tweet announcing Democrat House appointees to the super committee, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said her team will “focus on economic growth & job creation–which reduces deficit.”

In a slightly more grammatically correct statement issued later in the day, Ms. Pelosi said she hoped the committee would continue to work towards a “grand bargain,” which she has relabelled a “ginormous bargain’ echoing the President’s new moniker.

When reporters asked President Obama if the “Ginormous Committee” would be connected to his new jobs creation program, slated to roll out after the September 5th holiday, he replied, “We believe that the relationship between jobs and the deficit is palpable and substantive. So, as an effort to put forth a balanced plan, we see connections there, yes.”

When reporters from Dreadmonger asked if the President’s proposals will consist of the same things he has previously identified, namely, extending the payroll tax reduction, ratifying free trade bills, and passing  patent reform legislation, the President replied, ” Those are in there, sure, along with some other new ideas that we are kicking around.”

When reporters pressed the President for more details on the new ideas, President Obama declined to further elaborate, saying “We still have a few details to iron out but, we really think the word ‘Ginormous’ gives you an idea of where we’re headed.”

Dreadmonger will continue to update this story as it develops.

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Obama Promises to Give Kentucky to Illinois

Seal of Illinois. Center image extracted from ...

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On the campaign trail in Illinois today, and facing stiff opposition from Republican candidates Perry, Romney, and Bachmann, President Obama promised to give the people of Illinois the state of Kentucky should voters give him their vote in the upcoming 2012 presidential election.

The President, his Zegna jacket removed, shirt collar loosened, and sleeves rolled up, spoke today from the stage of the livestock auction pavilion at the Illinois State Fair.

“I think it’s a fair trade,” said President Obama. “You give me your vote and I’ll give Illinois the state of Kentucky.”

Noting that Kentucky borders Illinois to the south, the President went on to say that he will make sure that the new, larger state is called, “Illinois, or New Illinois, or Greater Illinois, or whatever you folks decide to call it.”

“Furthermore,” continued the President, “I believe this historic combination will create the first L-shaped state in our nation’s history.”

Speaking with David Axelrod, senior campaign strategist for the Obama campaign, reporters from Dreadmonger inquired as to how the people of Kentucky might feel about the proposed change.

“We firmly believe,” said Axelrod, “that there is a lot of synergy with the merger of Illinois and Kentucky. Illinois has a lot going for it and we think the good people of Kentucky will really benefit from joining that more robust and vibrant economy. And I’m sure there is plenty of room in the new organization for all. It’s a big tent, you know.”

When reporters from Dreadmonger noted that Illinois is a key swing state in the upcoming election and that Kentucky has voted for the opposing party in the last three presidential races, Axelrod commented, “Look, we really think that this is about something much bigger than the outcome of a single election. We see this as a win win for all concerned and a really big step forward for Kentucky. This will kick-start their flagging economy and align them to a real winner. If we thought this was a one-sided deal, well, we just wouldn’t feel so good about it. And it will create, you know, the first L-shaped state.”

Rumors have been circulating within the Obama camp that similar deals are in the offing for Ohio / West Virginia and Florida / Alabama.

The office of Steve Beshear, governor of Kentucky and a Democrat, repeatedly refused Dreadmonger’s request for comment.

A spokesman from the office of Illinois Governor Pat Quinn, also a Democrat, speaking on conditions of anonymity, said, “We were really kind of hoping for Indiana.”

Dreadmonger will provide updates as they become available.

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