Posts Tagged Minority leader of the United States House of Representatives

Pelosi & Reid Jointly Propose “Perma-Stop” Legislation

President Barack Obama shakes hands with Senat...

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Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi jointly proposed legislation today that would provide permanent stop-gap funding for Congress. The legislative initiative, nicknamed “Perma-Stop“, would provide for a bank of funds that would be available to Congress in perpetuity to provide monies for future periods where stop-gap spending is required.

The proposed legislation which, according to Mr. Reid, has the enthusiastic support of President Obama, provides for a bank of “Perma-Stop” funds between $300B and $500B that would automatically be available to Congress for funding the operation of the government in order to avert a shut down.

Mr. Reid and Ms. Pelosi addressed reporters today from backstage at a campaign rally in Pahrump, Nevada.

“This initiative will provide Congress with readily accessible funds that will allow the government to continue to operate in times of crisis,” said Mr. Reid. “As we have seen in recent months, our Republican colleagues have demonstrated a willingness, or perhaps we should even say a desire, to delay budgetary approval and thereby allow the government to shut down.”

The Reid / Pelosi proposal would set up a Perma-Stop Bank which would be directly funded by the Federal Reserve Board. These funds would be available for release based upon the approval of the Senate Majority Leader whenever the government requires so-called “stop-gap” funding. The bank would be operated on a “min / max” system by the Federal Reseve: whenever funds reached the minimum $300B level, an additional $200B would be injected to return the fund to the maximum level of $500B.

“We see this,” continued Leader Reid, “as an eminently reasonable approach to the constant start / stop dance we have played in the past few months with our Republican colleagues. They seem to feel they can shut down the government whenever the mood strikes them. I would remind our colleagues that those decisions can delay the issuance of Social Security checks which millions of American seniors depend upon for their very existence.”

Minority Leader Pelosi told reporters, “We see this legislation as key to the elimination of the incessant brinksmanship of threatening a government shut-down. We think that Americans are tired of the constant bickering and threats that do nothing but add tension and rancor to the process of conducting the people’s business. We believe our proposal will entirely eliminate this particularly nasty tactic that our colleagues on the other side of the aisle have shown to be all-to-willing to use. We think Americans will embrace our proposal to put an end to this nonsense.”

In conclusion, Mr. Reid added, “We think this legislation offers a simple and elegant solution to the persistent and unnecessary ploys and tactics that panic-inducing Republicans use to scare seniors. It’s time to stop this ‘fire drill’ mentality and get on with governing our nation.”

Dreadmonger will provide updates to the story as they become available.

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Debt Ceiling Dread

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Debt ceiling talks between President Obama and Speaker of the House John Boehner broke down today signaling the end of life on planet earth as we now know it. President Obama identified Boehner as the ” anti-Christ” and the Republican party as a whole as “less than human troglodytes”. For his part, Speaker Boehner responded by labeling President Obama  “the Lord Voldemort of our time, economically speaking”.  Boehner went on to praise the new Harry Potter movie and began to tear up as he reminded reporters once again that he has “every first edition of  every Harry Potter book”  in his home library.

Asked to comment on the debt ceiling crisis, House Minority leader Nancy Pelosi cursed, spat, and sputtered in indignation while making crazy eyes at cell phone cameras around the room.

Meanwhile in the Senate, Minority leader Mitch McConnell continued his game of pinocle with Senate majority leader Harry Reid. Reid mumbled something that reporters could not understand and raised his silver-handled cane in defiance as  journalists pressed him for a response.

Unconfirmed rumors circulated within the beltway today that former President Jimmy Carter was being called in to negotiate a truce between the two hostile camps. Reached for comment at his Georgia farm, former President Carter smiled broadly and said that the peanut crop this year was below par but he was confident that next year’s crop would be “a good ‘un”.

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