Posts Tagged Muammar al-Gaddafi

Poll Says Americans View Madoff, OJ, Gadaffi More Favorably than Federal Government

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A Gallup survey of public opinion showed that Americans‘ view of the federal government is at a historic  low, with impressions ranked below those polled for Bernie Madoff, O.J. Simpson, and ousted Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi.

Barely 17 % of Americans polled viewed the federal government positively as compared to 23% who viewed Bernie Madoff  favorably, 28% who viewed O.J.  positively, and 18% who thought highly of Gaddafi. The poll logged a new low for the government since Gallup began measuring its image in 2003.

The poll, which has a margin of error of plus or minus 5 percentage points. reflects a 14 percent drop in the net approval/disapproval rating of the government in the past year. The survey is conducted annually by the Gallup organization with a random sample of 1,008 adults.

Dreadmonger reporters took to the streets in Decatur to test public opinion, comparing various people in the news to the U.S. Federal Government.  Among  those found to be more popular than the government in our unscientific poll:

– Richard Heene (balloon-boy dad)

– Survivor Richard Hatch

Dominique Strauss-Kahn

– Kathy Lee Gifford

Rosie O’Donnell

– Hannibal Lechter

Dreadmonger reporters asked each respondent from our unscientific sample of 148 adults if any individual would rank lower in esteem that the government.  None of those polled could come up with an example.

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Gaddafi Tells Tea Party to ‘Go to Hell’

Muammar al-Gaddafi at the 12th AU summit, Febr...

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In an exclusive interview today with Dreadmonger’s Mediterranean Bureau, speaking from the deck of his yacht somewhere in the Mediterranean near the Italian Riviera, Muammar Gaddafi told reporters, “The Tea Party can go straight to hell!”

Mr. Gaddafi traces his recent decline in power to the ascent of the Tea Party in the 2010 elections in the US.

“These people are dangerous,” continued Mr. Gaddafi, speaking in flawless English. “This Jim DeMint person? Who does he think he is? And Michelle Bachmann? The woman frightens me. Did you see the cover of Newsweek? And they say I’m crazy. Did you see that picture? I defy you to find a picture of me that looks that crazy. I defy you.”

Mr. Gaddafi went on to say, “All this talk about the so-called ‘Arab Spring’ or some such nonsense. I have one word to describe this ‘Arab Spring’, and here I quote your Mr. Al Gore, ‘Bullsh*t!’. This is all a result of these crazy costumes these Tea Party people wear, these crazy signs they carry. Before the Tea Party, the Libyan people loved me. They used to write songs about me…”

Dreadmonger reporters inquired as to where Mr. Gaddafi might go now that it appeared that his government had been deposed by Libyan rebel forces.

“I suppose I’ll go to the Caribbean somewhere,” Mr. Gaddafi said. “Hugo and Fidel both want me. And Fidel’s brother – what’s his name? Raul or something? And Silvio said there was always a place for me at his table. And the little guy from Korea invited me. But, it is too cold in Korea, I think. Is it not?”

“But please, you must help me out,” Mr. Gaddafi asked our reporters. “You must convince your Fox News to return Glenn Beck to the airwaves. He was hilarious! I think you Americans have no sense of humor. ‘Glenn Beck’ is a character he has created – a modern-day Tony Clifton. I think his humor may be too oblique for you. But, please, I beg you, see if you can convince them to bring him back. We would watch him each afternoon in the palace. I miss him so much.”

At the end of the interview, Mr. Gaddafi extended his hospitality to Dreadmonger reporters.

“You must join us tonight for the concert. Rhianna and Neil Diamond will be performing. Saif  loves Rhianna but, I am a big Neil Diamond fan. ‘Sweet Caroline…’. I love this song.”

Dreadmonger reporters will provide exclusive coverage of the concert.

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