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“Authentic” Protesters to Occupy Occupy Wall Street

Day 20 Occupy Wall Street October 5 2011 Shank...

Image by david_shankbone via Flickr

(Dreadmonger – Zuccotti Park) Saul (no last name given) is rallying his troops for a march on Zuccotti Park. Saul is the titular leader of a group dubbed the  “Authentic” protesters who are launching their bid to occupy Occupy Wall Street.

“These guys,” Saul told reporters from Dreadmonger this afternoon, “are totally bogus. I heard on NPR today that they have trademarked the name ‘Occupy Wall Street’. Just look around you, man, look at all the bogus t-shirts. Somebody’s cashing in here. We’re going to put a stop to these materialistic pigs. We are going to occupy Occupy Wall Street!”

It seems that Saul, and his band of a dozen or so supporters, are out to make sure the protesters in Zucotti Park are genuine in their intentions and not just showing up to cash in on the movement’s newly found success in attracting media attention.

“This started out as a sincere movement,” Saul said, “but, now, it’s all about making a buck on the coat tails of the people who originally came down here to express an idea. To bring unity to the under-represented 99% of America. Now, it’s all about pre-printed signs and silk-screened t-shirts and trademarks, for crying out loud. And Alec Baldwin. Give me a break – guy is on TV hawking Capital One credit cards. He’s coming down here to get on Entertainment Tonight. Him and that fat guy that makes all the documentaries. He seems to show up whenever there’s free stew.”

“So, our mission,” Saul continued, “is to occupy the occupiers. To get them out of our protest. Maybe they can go protest down at Times Square or someplace where they can get better media coverage for their new t-shirt designs.”

Dreadmonger will provide updates as the “Authentic” protesters launch their occupation.

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