Posts Tagged North Dakota

Canada Offers to Buy North Dakota

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(Dreadmonger Canadian Bureau) – Rolph Dungarddison, Deputy of Communications for the Prime Minister of Canada announced today that the Canadian Government has made an offer to the U.S. State Department to buy the state of North Dakota.

“We believe,” said Mr. Dungarddison, speaking from the steps of the Capitol  Building in Ottawa, “that there is a good fit for North Dakota within our Canadian family. North Dakotans share a border with Canada and we have had an excellent relationship with our neighbors to the south for over 200 years. It is important to note that North Dakota has economic development opportunities with natural resources associated with the Bakken Shale oil reserves that are not dissimilar to some of the oil sands resources we have developed in Alberta. Canada has, shall we say, a more open process for bringing these opportunities to fruition. We believe that the offer we have made is a good and fair one. And, let’s be honest, the U.S. can use the money.”

North Dakota is rich in natural resources as a result of the discovery of the Bakken formation in recent years. This area will undergo development similar to those areas that Canada has developed to exploit oil sands in Alberta. Additionally, North Dakota has the lowest unemployment rate in the nation and a small population making it relatively easy for Canada to absorb the state with minimal economic disruption.

“With the decline of the U.S. dollar vs. the Canadian dollar, the depressed real estate values in the states, the fact that North Dakota is on the border with Canada, and the attractive natural resources that the state has to offer, we see this as a natural target for Canadian acquisition. We believe we have made a generous offer that the U.S. cannot ignore, given the extreme economic hardships that are being addressed today in the states.”

“And another benefit,” Mr. Dungardisson added,” Now you will be able to re-name South Dakota as ‘Dakota’. Or, ‘New Dakota’. Whatever – your call.”

Dreadmonger has tried to contact the State Department for comment but, thus far, they have not returned our calls.

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