Posts Tagged Starbucks
(Dreadmonger Mediterranean Bureau) Greek protesters today decried the Occupy Wall Street protesters as “cop car pooping wimps.”
Constantine X, who made the charge speaking on behalf of Greek anarchists, went on to say, “These soft-bellied Americans do not have the stomach for real protest. My goodness, sleeping in the park. How naughty these rebels are!”
Aristarchos (no last name), a spokesman for the Greek communist protesters, added, “These people in the Wall Street are wearing their bunny slippers and pooping on police cars while we here in Athens are risking our lives daily to demonstrate our commitment to save our people from this oppressive regime of capitalist Euro-trash. Did you see the brick I just threw at that policeman? Just look at YouTube and you will see me. These Americans don’t know the first thing about protest. Even the Italians know how to burn a car or two.”
“Yah,” continued Constantine X, “these American sissies should have another latte and go home to watch Oprah on TV. This is the real center of global protest, here in Athens. We anarchists are defending the rights of all Greeks against real oppression.”
Aristarchos added, “It’s true. Even these good Greek anarchists are not as wimpy as these American ‘Occupy’ people with their iPads in their sleeping bags.”
“What do you mean, ‘wimpy’?” asked Constantine X.
“I mean,” continued Aristarchos, “everyone knows the real strength here in the streets has been with the communists. You anarchists are soft compared to the sacrifices we communists have made during the many months our protest has endured. You guys only come out on sunny days. When it was raining all last week, there was not a single anarchist in sight. Probably home watching Oprah!”
“Your protest? Is that the way it is?” replied Constantine X. “I saw you last week taking a Starbucks break with your girlfriend at a little out-of-the-way place where the press corps hangs out. Probably getting your girl to apply your make-up for your next YouTube video.”
“Anarchist bastard!” said Aristarchos.
“Communist bitch!” replied Constantine X.
At this point Dreadmonger reporters were forced to abruptly end the interview due to the unavailability of Messrs Constantine X and Aristarchos.
Dreadmonger will continue to provide updates to the protests on Wall Street and in Athens as news develops.
- Occupy Wall Street becomes NYC tourist stop (sfgate.com)
- Jon Stewart: Are We Expecting Too Much From Occupy Wall Street? [Video] (gawker.com)
- Occupy Wall Street roundup, Day 33 (dailykos.com)